Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Councils Are The Enemies of The People - Great Coates Abolishes Council



As loyal readers know, councils are the enemies of the people.

My thanks therefore to a loyal reader who tipped me off about a revolt by the good people of Great Coates against their parish council.

Over 650 Great Coates residents (over 90% of the village) have signed a petition calling for the parish council to be dissolved. The Great Coates Residents' Association (Grass) have now presented the councillors with the petition.

For why are the good people of Great Coates so angry with their parish council?

Well it seems that (in a microcosm of what national governments do) the parish council decided to rack up a large debt (£300K), the liability for which rested with the residents rather than the councillors who took the loan out.

Oh, and by the way, the loan plus interest places the villagers in debt to the tune of £700K!

Governments and councils are always delighted to take on huge debts, but are very reluctant to take personal responsibility for repaying them; instead they foist that burden onto the voters and taxpayers!

Funny that isn't it?

Anyhoo, in theory the loan is meant to pay for a new village hall.

All very nice and dandy, if the villagers actually wanted to pay £700K for a new village hall.

Can you guess what though children?

Yes, that's right, the villagers do not want to pay for a new village hall or indeed be placed in debt to the tune of £700K!

Local referendums voted against the hall, but the council ignored the people.

Raymond Lawrance, chairman of Grass, told the councillors:
"The petition was created because you chose to ignore our referendums which voiced a resounding 'no' to build the hall.

We are asking you, as a council, to represent us and respect our views. And because you haven't, we have created the petition. It took several weekends to visit houses and it is still ongoing.

We will be taking legal advice with a view to taking action to abolish the council, if you choose to go ignore this petition."
The councillors have not commented.

Here's my comment:

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Dorset Police Declare Martial Law

Oh by the way folks, Dorset police appear to have declared "martial law"!

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Coffee Again!



In December 2010 I wrote the following:
"I see that the health and safety gestapo have identified another "threat" to children. This time the "threat" comes in the form of tea and coffee served at "coffee mornings" hosted in childrens' centres.

Mill Hill Children's Centre, Waterlooville Hampshire, is the latest childrens' centre to fall under the jackboot of the health and safety brigade. Despite having served tea and coffee to adults, who take their kids there for some 7 years (for an entry fee of £1), hot drinks are now banned (ironically the £1 charge remains!).

The fact that people drink tea and coffee at home seems to have escaped Nanny, as does the fact that the risk of a kid having a cup of coffee dropped on him/her is considerably less than the risk of the kid being injured in a car crash whilst being driven to a "coffee morning".

Knobheads!"
Well here we are in March 2012 and I see that the health and safety gestapo have again donned their jackboots and banned coffee yet again.

Nanny's chums from Warwickshire County Council recently sent "officers" to a mum's and children's playgroup called "Coffee and Play" at Stratford-upon-Avon and have ordered the group to change its name to "Baby Play" and banned the serving of coffee and biscuits.

The coffee has been banned because of "health and safety" rules, and the group has been told to serve breadsticks and fruit instead of biscuits (for "health" reasons).

The group has been running for five years, and not one child has yet been injured by coffee. However, the council gestapo are adamant; coffee is banned!

Vicky Kersey, children’s centre officer at the county council said:
To minimise any risk of scalding a child we have introduced a hot drinks policy at all of the county's children's centres."
As I noted in 2010:
"The fact that people drink tea and coffee at home seems to have escaped Nanny, as does the fact that the risk of a kid having a cup of coffee dropped on him/her is considerably less than the risk of the kid being injured in a car crash whilst being driven to a "coffee morning".
Knobheads!"
Warwickshire County Council should be told to fuck off!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Health and Safety Racket - An Inspector Calls

As loyal readers know, Nanny's health and safety obsession negatively impacts many of us. However, every cloud has a silver lining, there are some who do rather well out Nanny's health and safety obsession.

Step forward the inspectors from the Health and Safety Inspectorate, who this year will charge up to £256 per hour to tell companies what they are doing wrong wrt health and safety. These charges are not called "charges" by the HSE, but are referred to by the innocuous phrases "cost recovery scheme" and "fee for intervention scheme" (didn't wee Gordon Brown use a similar verbal sleight of hand to refer to spending as "investment"?).

The charges, from £133 per hour for normal investigations up to £256 for “specialist work”, will be levied from the moment that "a rule infringement" is detected.

Ker Farking Ching!

Now those of you who have even half an ounce of common sense can see a wee bit of a problem here, wrt "conflict of interest". Clearly if the Inspectorate is paid by the hour, it is in the Inspectorate's interest to increase its workload and find fault with every little thing.

Am I right, or am I wrong?

Anyhoo the HSE, facing a rightly deserved backlash over these rip off fees, have delayed the implementation of the new regime from April until October 2012.

Seemingly the official reason for the delay is to discuss "technical aspects of the scheme”.

Gordon MacDonald, HSE's programme director, said:
"The Government has agreed that it is right that those who break the law should pay their fair share of the costs to put things right - and not the public purse.

 The Government intends to proceed with the FFI scheme as recommended to ministers by HSE's Board in December in response to the formal consultation that took place last Summer.

Discussions are still taking place on the technical details of the scheme, which we expect to conclude soon.

Therefore, FFI will not be introduced in April but at the next available opportunity, which is likely to be October 2012."
Snort!

Suffice to say, that if sensible people keep the pressure up, by October we can expect a 100% climbdown by the HSE over this licence to print money.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The PalArse of Westminster

I have launched a new site "The PalArse of Westminster", which exposes the hypocrisy and greed of our "respected" elected political "elite".


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Climbdown - Nanny Likes Flowers



Loyal readers will recall that last Thursday I wrote about the problems that Brain and Janna Coomber were having with Nanny:
"...after several years of doing the floral decorations (for free) at Weymouth railway station they have been told by Nanny to stop it.

For why?


Nanny fears for their health and safety wrt their use of a ladder for filling the hanging planters
."
Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, following the furore Nanny has backed down and has told them that they can carry on doing the flowers.

What happened?

Well, seemingly a risk assessment has now been conducted which has given the all clear; additionally South West Trains claims that there was a "misunderstanding".

LOL!

Nothing to do with the adverse publicity then?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Dangers of Bunting



2012 will be a busy year for celebrations and parties, not only do we have the Olympics but we also have the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and yet another lavish TV series by Lord Fellowes to watch.

All of these events are prompting people to plan street parties.

Needless to say Nanny has poked her bony finger into the planned celebrations. She is worried about the hanging of bunting, and has demanded that those who wish to hang bunting go on professional  health and safety courses that teach them how to mount (or is it climb?) ladders.

For good measure these courses will also teach us how to carry out the risk assessments required to put up tables for a street market.

FFS!!!!

Thus the good people of Petersfield Hampshire will have to attend a course called Safety With Ladders, which covers the Health and Safety Executive Work at Height Regulations 2005.

The hapless participants are shown how to set up a barrier around a ladder to stop people bumping into it, and how to position someone at the bottom of it to warn others the ladder is there.

Needless to say, there is a charge for the course.

£320!

Ker Farking Ching!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, March 23, 2012

Booze Matters - Minimum Price For Booze



Cameron, despite opposition from within his own cabinet (Lansley describes the plan as "absurd"), is determined to push ahead with plans for a minimum price for booze.

He is of the view that cheap booze is responsible for a minority of the country behaving irresponsibly.

Well, coming from a member of the Palace of Westminster which serves taxpayer subsidised booze at all hours of day and night (wherein a member was recently arrested for alcohol fuelled violence) maybe he is speaking from experience.

However, statistics would indicate (contrary to what Nanny would have us believe) that, as a country, we are actually drinking less. In September 2010 the BBC reported:

"Alcohol consumption in 2009 saw the sharpest year-on-year decline since 1948, figures from the British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA) suggest.

The data showed a 6% fall in 2009 - the fourth annual drop in five years.

The association said UK drinkers were now consuming 13% less alcohol than in 2004, below the EU average.

Pubs, bars, off-licences, restaurants and supermarkets all saw alcohol sales fall, the HM Revenue and Customs data from UK producers and importers showed.

It is thought the decline may be due to the effect of the recession on spending, but could also be a sign that messages about responsible drinking have affected drinking habits.

The organisation said UK taxes on beer remained the second highest duty rate in EU - 10 times higher than in Germany and seven times higher than in France."

The alcohol fuelled violence that certain city centres see at night is down to a number of factors. However, two factors are key:

1 Certain people, no matter how little they have to drink, will behave like "animals" (my apologies to the animal kingdom); whilst the majority of us (even after an "elegant sufficiency") still manage to not smash a bottle over someone else's head or expose our arses.

2 Local councils, by allowing streets to become purely bar only ghettos, have created this problem because of their greed for licence fees etc. A mixed high street of shops, accommodation, restaurants, pubs, bars etc will attract a broad cross section of society rather than the knuckle dragging retards that swarm like flies over shit to bar only ghettos.

Minimum pricing will avail Cameron nothing.

Oh, and by the way, it's not just those who drink "Ace" lager from cans in the street that necessarily cause violent disorder; rumour has it that those overloaded on Krug etc (ie those for whom prices mean nothing) can also be a tad "boisterous"!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Nanny Hates Flowers

On the subject of flowers, as Lord of Atlantis pointed out yesterday, Nanny does seem to have something of a grudge against them.

As Brian and Janna Coomber discovered recently, when after several years of doing the floral decorations (for free) at Weymouth railway station they have been told by Nanny to stop it.

For why?

Nanny fears for their health and safety wrt their use of a ladder for filling the hanging planters.

What a sad, petty and timid little country we have become!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Nanny Bans Daffodils

Spring has sprung, the trees are budding, the sap is rising and the daffodils are growing in all parts of the septic isle, aside from Tendring that is.

For why?

Just ask Robert Blyth, who owns a farm in Ardleigh.

Mr Blyth has been required by Nanny's chums from Tendring District council to submit a seven-page document for permission to plant "a seasonal display of flowers" (daffodils) at his farm.

This being a council that he is dealing with, he will have to wait weeks before a decisions is made; by then the flowers will have withered and died.

Were he to go ahead and allow the daffodils to bloom without asking for permission, the council would have fined him £2,500.

Ker Farking Ching!

(Actually Nanny already has form with daffodils, in 2005 Strood civic centre banned them for being "politically biased").

Anyhoo, Tendring District Council claim that the 13,000 bulb display (which spells out the name of the farm's weekly boot sale) is an advertisement, and therefore needs to be approved.

That is a bit rich, given that the council have such a display showing the council logo on Clacton seafront!

So what happens if the permission is refused?

The plants will have died by then anyway!

Hypocritical, idiotic jobsworths!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Nanny Bans Best Friends



I wrote yesterday about how I have become somewhat "enured (there's a word I don't use often enough) to Nanny's idiocies". However, a mere one day later I found myself yet again issuing forth a "trumpet of rage".

Two tabloids are claiming that some schools are banning primary pupils from having best friends, and instead are being encouraged to play in large groups.

For why?

Apparently, if the story is true, Nanny claims that she doesn't want the children to "suffer the pain of break up".

Well now, if the above is true, then that is the most absurd nonsense to ever issue forth from the bowels of Nanny's diseased mind:

1 Children can only develop into mature, well balanced adults, if they are allowed to experience life's knock backs.

Those who are covered in cotton wool end up becoming spoilt, self obsessed, immature adults (you only have to look at the emotionally retarded/stunted idiots who appear on reality television to see the level of immaturity in some adults).

2 It's not the state's business to interfere in bondings/falling outs between children.

3 "Playing in groups" and "group activities" was exactly the same policy used by Nazi Germany to ensure that people were never alone or able to speak/think for themselves (going against the group is much harder).

Seemingly, if the story is true, this policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey.

Please can someone send me the names of the schools were this is happening?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, March 19, 2012

Nanny Bans Union Jack



I have been running this site for yonks (since 2004 in fact), and have therefore become somewhat enured (there's a word I don't use often enough) to Nanny's idiocies. However, occasionally Nanny does something so idiotic that even my elephant hide skin is sufficiently pricked for me to issue forth a trumpet of rage.

Thus I draw your attention (on this fine Monday morning) to a truly absurd piece of Nannyism, courtesy of Nanny's chums from Fylde council (click the tag "Fylde" and you will see they have featured before on this site).

Peter and Lesley Salthouse run the Naze Lane Chippy in Freckleton, and have (as part of their shop front advertising) a Union Jack sign in the window.

Nothing wrong with that is there?

You would think not, wouldn't you?

However, Fylde council have ordered the Salthouses to remove the sign?

For why?

Apparently it contains too many "angles, triangles and colours"!

Isn't that what a Union Jack is actually made up of??

The council have decreed that the sign is "out of character" for an English village!

As I have noted many times before on this site, councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Oh So Swedish - Nostalgia Postcards



A shameless plug for my partner's (Eva) site Oh So Swedish, which offers a veritable smorgasbord of Swedish arts and crafts (including nostalgia postcards such as the one above).

Why not visit the site today?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, March 16, 2012

Nanny Bans Hobbit - Update Commonsense Prevails



Following on from yesterday's article about the trademark dispute between SZC and The Hobbit pub, in which I suggested that "a degree of commonsense and flexibility is required and will reap rewards", I am pleased to see that SZC has taken my advice.

It is reported that for a licence fee of approximately $100 per annum the Hobbit pub may continue to use that name.

There we are, Nanny hasn't completely banned commonsense!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Height



I am always gemused at the imaginative excuses Nanny comes up with to charge us more money. My compliments to The Jolly Roger Play Centre in Swindon for coming up with a new excuse for charging their clients more money.

Dylan and Amanda Sparks were told that they would have to pay extra (the full child price) for their two year old son Oliver to attend the nursery, because he is 3ft 3ins (100cm) tall.

Now fair enough, if there are sections of the nursery that are for "larger" kids etc or if that is the stated price structure (which it is).

The trouble is, instead of simply saying "we charge extra for larger older kids", the nursery swathed their request for more money in Nanny's time honoured excuse of "health and safety"; adding that Oliver would wear the equipment out faster (isn't that what kids do anyway?).

Why hide behind "health and safety", when it clearly is a simple matter of structured pricing (which they have already stated in their rules and conditions anyway)?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Oh So Swedish



A shameless advert for Eva (my partner's) website "Oh So Swedish" at www.ohsoswedish.com

The above is one of her hand printed T shirts, this one of a Mustang (modelled by me!), produced by her sister in Sweden.

Go on folks, you know you are itching to buy something:)

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Hobbit



As loyal readers know, Nanny tends to ban things that she doesn't understand or that threaten her authority over us. However, sometimes, the motivation for a ban or infringement of freedom is simply money.

Thus I am sorry to say that The Hobbit pub in Southampton (a pub that has been using that name for around 20 years) has found itself on the receiving end of the threat of litigation by US lawyers representing Nanny's chums from the Saul Zaentz Company (SZC) in California.

SZC owns the worldwide rights to several brands associated with author JRR Tolkien, including The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings.

Unfortunately, the pub features characters from Tolkien's stories on its signs, has "Frodo" and "Gandalf" cocktails on the menu, and the face of Lord of the Rings film star Elijah Wood on its loyalty card.

Needless to say this has not gone down well with SZC, and as such it has asked that the pub remove all references to the characters.

The Hobbit pub has set up a Facebook page to help save it. However, given that SZC has more money than those who run the pub it will be a battle that can only be won if SZC shows some humanity and charity, and finds a legally watertight way to allow this "infringement" to continue as a "one off" (so that others are not tempted to infringe its rights).

However, that "Damascus revelation" of charity may be unlikely, the Hobbit pub is not the only UK business to be served with a litigation notice from SZC.

The Hungry Hobbit cafe in Birmingham was also served with one in the latter end of 2011 (they too have a Facebook page). Their proposed solution to the threats from SZC will be to rename the cafe the "Hungry 'Obbit". However, it is not yet clear as to whether SZC will accept this.

Brand value and trademarks are very important in commerce. However, sometimes the damage to a company's brand value by appearing to some to be petty minded and greedy exceeds any alleged loss of revenue stream from minor infringements; ie a degree of commonsense and flexibility is required and will reap rewards.

Sadly, as loyal readers know, Nanny has long since banned commonsense and is remarkably inflexible.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Nipples II



Following yesterday's article about Nanny MTV and Nanny Turner Entertainment’s, Adult Swim Network banning an advert featuring 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl, Kate Upton because of swearing and an "erect nipple" a good many loyal readers have taken time to study the video in order to identify the "erect nipple" segment which I could not see.

My thanks to one loyal reader who has sent me two stills from the video, where he has identified what he believes to be the offending nipples.

However, I am not yet convinced as (akin to spot the ball competitions) the location indicated by the arrows don't appear to be where one would expect them to be.

Comments and views welcome!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Nanny Bans Nipples



On the subject of banned adverts, I am advised that MTV and Turner Entertainment’s, Adult Swim Network have banned the above advert featuring 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl, Kate Upton because of swearing and an "erect nipple".

I have studied the video and can see no nipple.

Can someone help me out here please?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Chav Tranquilizer



As racing aficionados know, it is the Cheltenham Festival. As such the bookies are doing what they do best, and are competing with each other to promote their "wares".

My commiserations to Paddy Power, who put filmed an advert (see above), who have had their advert banned before it was even shown on TV.

Needless to say, the banning of the advert has meant that the video on YouTube has gone viral, and #ChavTranquiliser is trending on Twitter.

Clever Paddy Power, using Nanny's rules against her!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Humourless Students II - Nanny Bans Crossdressing



Oh dear, it seems that the attack of "humourlessness" that has affected the students of Oxford University has spread to those who study at Exeter University.

For reasons best known to themselves, the leaders of the university's Student Guild, recently got their knickers in a twist over cross dressing and decreed that it could be deemed as offensive as ‘blacking up’.

Now, in my simple mind, I thought that students were rather open minded and that if chaps wished to put on dresses and ladies wished to put on trousers, then that would be perfectly acceptable so long as it didn't frighten the horses.

Apparently not, for it seems that some chaps want to dress up as ladies purely for fun (eg post sporting event or pre celebration).

As we know, "fun" has been banned by Nanny's humourless students!

Nanny's Student Guild was worried that cross dressing would be deemed insulting to ‘gender-queer’ students.
Quote:

The Guild is aware that there are several trans-identified students at Exeter and more who express their identity as gender-queer.

To parody this appearance is crass and offensive on the same level as ethnicity.


While 'blacking up' in various guises is not unlawful...by parodying an appearance you are taking on the public performance of a group of persons in a stereotypical or (sometimes) mocking way. 

The Guild does not act in disciplinary fashion against members of the student body for performances of this nature, but we do express disapproval of unthinking and insulting appearances against minority student groups in particular - before you dress up in this fashion we would ask that you reconsider your actions and act in a culturally sensitive way so as not to give offence. 

The Guild is not demanding that all such performances stop. We are merely asking for your consideration in making sure that your own individual behaviour is not harming, insulting or mocking another student."

On this basis I assume that "Little Britain", "The Two Ronnies", Danny La Rue films, all pantomimes etc etc are all banned on campus?

My advice to the students of Exeter, loosen up a bit; if you are this "anal" at your age, what will you be like when you are my age?

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Monday, March 12, 2012

Humourless Students



Oh dear how sad to see that, thanks to Nanny, even students appear to have lost their sense of humour. I well recall the days of student politics when candidates would dress as gorillas, or in fact a potted plant would stand and where the voters would ask the size of a particular candidate's "appendage".

Nowadays some students seem to take themselves far too seriously, as Madeline Grant (who is reading English lit and languages at St Hilda's Oxford) found to her cost recently.

Miss Grant was standing for election as Oxford Union Librarian, and her election flier stated:

I don't hack, I just have a great rack."

She went on to say that she was "committed to helping members pull" after she organised a "sell-out Valentine's social".

Needless to say some Nanny brainwashed students had a major sense of humour failure, and branded the material as "deeply offensive".

Fellow students accused her of "damaging the perception of women" and showing a “distinct lack of judgement”.

Miss Grant's manifesto was therefore censored.

So much for freedom of speech and expression!

Sadly Miss Grant lost by 97 votes.

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Friday, March 09, 2012

Nanny Town - Hands Off Our Packs



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Thursday, March 08, 2012

Nanny Bans "Darling"



Today, in case you didn't know, is International Women's Day (it is also British Pie Week!).

In keeping with such, Euro Nanny has today decreed that wolf-whistles or calling someone 'darling' is now a crime which may get you arrested (according to Julia Gray anyway).

The ladies in my local market refer to me as "darling".

Are they committing a crime?

Anyhoo Cameron will today sign up to new laws in the Council of Europe's convention on violence against women.

Julia Gray, founder of the London branch of anti street harassment group Hollaback, rather trivialises the issue of violence (thus undermining the intended impact of the legalisation) and is quoted in the Guardian:

'The way we see it is if you want to tackle it you tackle all of it – you say no to all forms of unwanted sexual harassment; that includes wolf-whistling, comments, everything.'

Lucky that Charlie Drake isn't still around then!

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Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Nanny Unbans Jolly Roger



Last Friday I wrote about prats from east Lindsey District Council banning a child from flying the Jolly Roger flag in his parents' garden:

"Anthony Steele (7 years old) has been targeted by Nanny's chums from East Lindsey Council.

For why?


He was flying a toy Jolly Roger flag (on a fishing pole) in his parent's garden.


What's wrong with that?


Well me hearties, Nanny believes that the skull and crossbones breaches advertising laws (what?), and have banned him from flying it!


Excuse me, how the hell does the skull and crossbones breach advertising laws?


It's not as though he is a real pirate advertising his pirating skills is he?


Anyhoo
, notwithstanding that bleedin' obvious point, Nanny has told Anthony's parents that they face legal action unless they take it down."

Several loyal readers speculated that once the publicity hit home to the council, and they realised that they had been exposed to the world as being utter knobheads, that the council would wimp out and backtrack.

Well, surprise surprise!

East Lindsey District Council has indeed backtracked.

The council has now apologised to the family, and admitted the letter had been "over the top"

It has sent the family an official apology, saying that no further action would be taken.

The council has proven itself to be useless and spineless.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Nanny Bans Handshakes



I see the knobheads in the British Olympics Association (BOA) have banned our athletes from shaking hands during the Olympics, lest they catch a bug.

We are the only nation imposing such a ban.

Make you feel proud to be British doesn't it?

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Monday, March 05, 2012

Knobheads - Unison



Congratulations to Unison (the UK's largest public sector union) for showing the world how to excel at knobheadery.

Almost 5 years ago four hard left trade unionists became somewhat irked at how Unison was being run, and decided to publish a satirical leaflet which used an image of the three wise monkeys (hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil).

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, one member of the 15 member ruling committee of Unison decided that the image was racist.

The group of four, as they were not intending in any way to be racists, apologised profusely for inadvertently causing offence.

Was an apology enough for Unison?

No!

It then began a full scale investigation, and banned the four from holding office.

Almost five years later, at the costs of £200K in legal fees, an Employment Appeal Tribunal (at the tribunal, Unison insisted the leaflet was racist) ruled in favour of the four and criticised the union’s reaction.

I wonder if the members of Unison are best pleased with their union subs being wasted on this knobheadery?
 
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Friday, March 02, 2012

Nanny Bans Jolly Roger



Poor old Roger, what harm has he ever done anyone apart from being "Jolly"?

Sadly Nanny doesn't see it that way, and has decided to ban him.

Anthony Steele (7 years old) has been targeted by Nanny's chums from East Lindsey Council.

For why?

He was flying a toy Jolly Roger flag (on a fishing pole) in his parent's garden.

What's wrong with that?

Well me hearties, Nanny believes that the skull and crossbones breaches advertising laws (what?), and have banned him from flying it!

Excuse me, how the hell does the skull and crossbones breach advertising laws?

It's not as though he is a real pirate advertising his pirating skills is he?

Anyhoo, notwithstanding that bleedin' obvious point, Nanny has told Anthony's parents that they face legal action unless they take it down.

How did the council find out about the flag?

They have spies everywhere.

Some sad git reported it!

Why?

On the subject of pirate flags, now that we are approaching the anniversary of the Falklands war, I wonder if East Lindsey Council would have dared to tell the guys on HMS Conqueror that their flying of the skull and crossbones constituted a breach in advertising laws?

No, I thought not!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Thursday, March 01, 2012

Nanny Bans "Sofa King Low"



I cannot but help guffaw (can I say "guffaw" before the watershed?) in a very loud fashion at the ludicrous prissiness of Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), who have got their knickers in a right old twist over a Northamptonshire sofa firm's slogan.

What is the slogan?

Sofa King Low!

Splendid!

This slogan, quite rightly, has been used by the company on all its adverts, vehicles etc.

Unfortunately, dear old Nanny ASA got rather uppity about it and has branded "offensive" and has banned the combination of words.

This of course, aside from being absolutely ridiculous, gives the sofa company an enormous amount of free PR.

Oh, by the way, ASA's decision to ban it is in fact even more ridiculous than for the reasons outlined above.

For why?

Well you see, the company has been using "Sofa King Low" for the last ten years.

In fact the police wasted time and resources investigating complaints about it in 2004 (yes seriously, the police actually wasted time on this!), yet came to the conclusion there was "no crime".

Why now did ASA waste its time, and make a fool out of itself over this issue?

Three readers (yes, three sad readers) of the Northampton Herald and Post complained that it was offensive.

What sad empty lives some people lead!

Where were these saddos when French Connection came up with FCUK, or Brain's Faggots, or my late grandfather's favourite baccy "Digger's Shag"??

Anyone care to come up with a new slogan for the company, that will annoy even more people?

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