Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Nanny Bans Fat People and Smokers From NHS


I see that Nanny's chums in the NHS Hertfordshire have decided that fat people and smokers do not warrant the same level of care that others receive.

The Telegraph reports that new rules, drawn up by clinical commissioning groups (CCGs) in Hertfordshire, say that obese patients “will not get non-urgent surgery until they reduce their weight” at all, unless the circumstances are exceptional.

The criteria also mean smokers will only be referred for operations if they have stopped smoking for at least eight weeks, with such patients breathalysed before referral.

East and North Hertfordshire CCG and  Herts Valleys said the plans aimed to encourage people “to take more responsibility for their own health and wellbeing, wherever possible, freeing up limited NHS resources for priority treatment”.

All very well and good, maybe. However, who is next on the list of second class citizens:

- people who eat "too much" fat, salt and sugar?
- people who drink?
- people who take drugs?
- people who don't follow Nanny's exercise programme?
- people who don't use protection during sex?

The list is endless!

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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Camila Blames Cameron


In February 2016 I wrote:
"Loyal readers know that I have been less than impressed with the Kids Company, and the clowns that were allegedly "in charge" of that clusterfuck of an organisation.

I am pleased to see that the Commons Public Administration and Constitutional Affairs Committee (PACAC) have given that failed organisation, and its "leaders" a well deserved kicking.

Unsurprisingly the clown in chief, Camila Batmanghelidjh, denies everything and is quoted by the BBC saying that the report "is a product of bias and rumour".
"
It seems Camila is still in  denial!

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Monday, October 16, 2017

Ophelia - The Oncoming Damp Squid


I see that Nanny and the Meteorological Orifice, are becoming hysterical over the oncoming damp squid Ophelia.

Mindful that today is the 30th anniversary of the Great Storm, an event that the Met woefully under predicted, Nanny has gone into overdrive over Ophelia.

Pound to penny this turns out to be a damp squid!

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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Raw Eggs Are Now Safe!



Those of you with long memories may well recall the furore in the 1980's over the risk of salmonella poisoning from eggs.

Ever since then, Nanny has frowned upon us eating runny eggs.

Now relief is at hand, Nanny's Food Standards Agency has now declared that runny eggs are safe:
"The Food Standards Agency has today announced a change to its advice about eating eggs - infants, children, pregnant women and elderly people can now safely eat raw or lightly cooked eggs that are produced under the British Lion Code of Practice.


The revised advice, based on the latest scientific evidence, means that people vulnerable to infection or who are likely to suffer serious symptoms from food poisoning (such as infants, children, pregnant women and  elderly people) can now safely eat raw or lightly cooked hen eggs or foods containing them.

We had previously advised that vulnerable groups should not consume raw or lightly cooked eggs, because eggs may contain salmonella bacteria which can cause serious illness."
I have to say I have been steadfastly ignoring Nanny's egg advice since the 1980's, and have never suffered from a dicky stomach as a result of eating runny yolks!

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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The Dangers of Standing


Nanny has long hated the fact that we sit on our arses all day, she thinks we should be up moving around or at least standing around.

In fact she has managed to link prolonged periods of sitting to cancer, type 2 diabetes and speeding up ageing.

However, in an amusing twist, it appears that standing is also dangerous.


Those who stand up for prolonged periods of time are more susceptible to cardiovascular diseases, the study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology has found.

Well then, if we can't stand or sit shall we simply lie down in or coffins and be done with it?

I am sure Nanny would prefer that!

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Thursday, October 05, 2017

Nanny Hates Pesto


I see Nanny's chums from that interfering busybody group Consensus Action on Salt and Health have got their knickers in a twist again.

This time over the salt content of Pesto.

Seemingly CASH are of the view that Sacla's Italia Organic Vegetarian Pesto No 5 Basil and Italia Pesto No 1 Classic Basil now contain more salt per serving than a McDonald's hamburger.

It went on to say that said none of the sauces it checked, including some made by Sainsbury's and Tesco, could be described as healthy.

Sacla, quite rightly, said its products should be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet. In other words normal people are hardly likely yo be eating it by the bucketful.

I would make a few observations about what people should do:

- drink more water if you are worried about salt
- add sugar to counteract the salt
- complain to McDonald's that their hamburgers don't contain enough salt
- ask CASH what the hell is it to do with them what we eat?

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Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Don't Get Old - It's Shite!


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Tuesday, October 03, 2017

Bags For Life Become Bags For Death


In a hugely amusing piece of irony, Nanny has got her knickers in a twist over her environmentally friendly bags for life.

It seems that reusable “bags for life” can spread deadly food poisoning bacteria if they are used to carry raw foods such as fish and meat.

Nanny's Food Standards Agency (FSA) is recommending that shoppers use separate bags to carry raw foods, ready-to eat foods and non-food items such as household cleaners and washing powder.

Aha!

That will give the supermarkets a nice little earner!

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Thursday, September 28, 2017

Nanny Bans Sausage Rolls


My thanks to a loyal reader who has advised me that Nanny's school lunchbox Gestapo are now searching for forbidden sausage rolls.

The BBC reports that the new policy at Shirley Manor Primary Academy in Bradford states parents will be called if banned foods are found in packed lunches.

Steve Fryer, whose son's sausage roll was confiscated, said the school should "stick to teaching kids".

The policy says pupils are encouraged to show their packed lunches to staff before and after they have eaten.

It states pork pies, sausage rolls and pepperoni sticks should not be included and neither should fruit squash or flavoured water.

Not Nanny's business!

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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Nanny Hates Rugby


I see that Nanny has decreed that tackling should be banned from school rugby, lest there be an injury.

That somewhat undermines the entire game!

Anyhoo, given that Nanny is so worried about injuries arising from contact, what about those sustained playing football, hockey, cricket etc?

Surely these sports need to be "tamed" by Nanny as well?

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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Booze and Fags More Important Than Housing in 1950's



Good to see that people had their priorities right in the 1950's!

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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Nanny To Ban Thought Crime Tweeters From Voting


As I have stated before, when Orwell wrote "1984" it was meant to be a warning, not a blue print!

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Monday, September 18, 2017

Euro Nanny Censors Freedom of Speech


Remember, it is a thought crime to criticise the EU and its ambitions for Continental domination!

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Friday, September 15, 2017

Don't Film Suspect Packages!


I appreciate that everyone now thinks that "if it moves, explodes, farts etc" then they should film it.

However, seriously, if you see a suspect package (pre or post explosion) report it and get out of the area calmly and quickly.

DO NOT APPROACH THE SUSPECT DEVICE TO FILM IT!


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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Gender Neutral Shoes - Whither Clarks Commandos?


As per Clarks, as reported in the Mail:
"Clarks has a gender neutral ethos that anyone can choose any style they would like. Over the past few seasons, following customer feedback and market research, we have focused on creating more unisex shoes and we are looking at a number of elements of our business to promote this gender neutral ethos, both on our website and within our stores. 

As a large global company, it is not always possible to implement all the changes we want to make as quickly as we would like. However, we are looking to move as fast as we can to ensure this ethos is reflected throughout our brand.

Today we have more unisex styles in our range than ever before. This means we now have a wider range of closed-in styles, school boots and GORE-TEX® styles and these changes will continue in our Spring Summer 2018 range, which has been designed with an entirely unisex approach."
I am so old I remember Clarks Commandos and the commando handbook.

Oh, and in those days health and safety be buggered you could get your feet x-rayed in their shops too!

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Monday, September 11, 2017

Charles J. Sykes Nails It


Bill Gates didn't do the list, Charles J. Sykes (author of the 1996 book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can’t Read, Write, Or Add) is in fact the author.

Hat tip to SkidRowLunchClub for point this out:



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Friday, September 08, 2017

Prat of The Week - James Cracknell

Somewhat belatedly I would like to award James Cracknell my Prat of The Week Award.

Who is James Cracknell?

Apparently he is an athlete turned anti-obesity campaigner.

For why does he deserve the award?

According to The Spectator, Cracknell said in April that North Korea and Cuba had got a ‘handle on obesity’ (ie their hapless citizens - with a few notable exceptions - aren't fat).

Cracknell, by all accounts thinks that is splendid, and is all for Nanny adopting those countries' methods and techniques which he attributed to both countries being ‘quite controlling on behavioural trends’.

There you have it folks, Nanny's chums want Nanny to impose dietary dictatorship.

James Cracknell, well deserving Prat of The Week!

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Thursday, September 07, 2017

Welby Bleats, Yet The Church Doesn't Pay Tax!


I see that the Archbishop of Canterbury is bleating about the economy.

As per Sky News seemingly Britain's economic model is "broken" and the nation is at a "watershed moment", the Archbishop of Canterbury has warned as Britons face the longest period of stalling wage growth for 150 years.

The Rt Rev Justin Welby said "fundamental reform" on the scale of the 1940s and 1980s is required in a report.
"Our economic model is broken. Britain stands at a watershed moment where we need to make fundamental choices about the sort of economy we need.

We are failing those who will grow up into a world where the gap between the richest and poorest parts of the country is significant and destabilising.
This is, therefore, the moment for new, radical policy options to be debated."
Here's a radical policy suggestion, make the Church of England pay tax!


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Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Don't Slouch - Posture Is Paramount!


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Monday, September 04, 2017

Bread and Circuses - A Royal Baby



Things are clearly going to become pretty awful, hence the joy of a Royal birth to distract us all!


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Thursday, August 31, 2017

Prison Smoking Ban Produces Inevitable Result!



Nanny really is a naive old crone, if she seriously thought that banning smoking in prisons would lead to anything positive.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Meanwhile In Australia..


The Independent reports that an Australian activist with a doctorate in early childhood studies, Dr Red Ruby Scarlet, is calling for Father’s Day to be renamed ‘Special Person’s Day’ so that children without dads don’t feel left out or upset by their situation.

Appearing on Today Tonight, the university academic explained that shifting the language around events like Father’s Day will help instil a better sense of belonging.

All very well and nice, but what about Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Christmas Day, Easter etc etc?

A better solution would be the banning of the sales of cards and other useless merchandise, designed to push people into wasting money, on these days.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????


MPs have been urged to launch an inquiry into the placement of foster children after a white Christian girl was reportedly put into the care of a non-English speaking Muslim family.

The child, aged five, who speaks English as her first language, has been looked after by two different Muslim households in the past six months.

The girl was reportedly told to remove her Christian crucifix necklace and was not allowed to eat carbonara because it contained bacon.

She was allegedly encouraged to learn Arabic in one household and was begging not to go back there because "they don't speak English", according to a confidential report from the local authority seen by the Times newspaper.

Source Telegraph

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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Nanny Seems To Be Overreacting These Days!


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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Nanny Has Major Sense of Humour Failure


Oh dear Nanny really has a had a major sense of humour failure wrt funds raised for Shropshire Community Health NHS Trust.

It seems that because the funds were raised by men dressed as nurses, the hospital has turned down a donation.

For why?

Nanny believes that their behaviour was "highly-sexualised" and "demeaning".

The Telegraph reports that the men raised £2,500 in the event in Ludlow, Shropshire, which sees them dress up as female nurses and take to the streets with collection buckets.

The fundraising drive for Shropshire Community Health NHS Trust has been taking place without complaint for 30 years, raising around £90,000 in total.

However, Jan Ditheridge, chief executive of the trust, said she is not comfortable with how the event portrays medical staff and refused the donation.

In a letter to the Ludlow Hospital League of Friends, Ms Ditheridge and chair of the trust Mike Ridley, said:
"The presentation of men dressed as female nurse sin a highly-sexualised and demeaning way is wrong, very outdated and insulting to the profession."
Peter Corfield, chairman of the League of Friends of Ludlow Hospital, described the refusal of the cash as "absolutely ridiculous."

He added:
"The event has always run with the full knowledge and support of the hospital and primary care trust management with participation by NHS staff.

The whole thing is a light-hearted fundraiser which has raised between £2,500 and £6,500 each year and so over that period of time it's a very tidy sum."
Ms Ditheridge, chief executive of the trust said:
"It isn't okay to portray healthcare professionals in this way.

We have previously asked that this doesn't happen and therefore don't think it's right to accept any money associated with this activity.

I'm sure the event was organised with the best intentions and we are sorry if it's made people feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

Many people kindly and selflessly raise money for our organisation, and especially for our hospitals. We are eternally grateful for that."
Dear oh dear :(
 
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Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Pointless!


Can anyone tell me what on earth is the point of living like this?

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Monday, August 21, 2017

Bong!


Oh dear, it seems that the decision to silence Big Ben for four years is down to good old health and safety.

Odd that this has never been a problem before.

Health and safety has managed what the Luftwaffe couldn't!

I would note though, that our "respected" MP's should have known about this when they approved the works order.

Anyhoo, what with the silencing of the bongs, the extinguishing of the lamp on top of Big Ben and tonight's partial eclipse I am wary of a major black swan event coming!

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Thursday, August 17, 2017

Nanny's Brave New Word


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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Nanny To Ban Boozing At Airports?


How "ironic" that Ryanair, Easyjet and Panorama are all bleating at the same time about boozed up passengers.

A cynic might suggest that this is some co-ordinated ploy devised by Nanny in order to allow her to ban boozing at airports!

Anyhoo, be that as it may, the BBC and all other major news organs report that Ryanair has called on UK airports to enforce a two-drink limit, after a BBC Panorama investigation suggested arrests of drunken passengers have risen by 50% in a year.

The airline has already banned customers from drinking duty-free alcohol on board (fair enough!).

It seems that a total of 387 people were arrested between February 2016 and February 2017 - up from 255 the previous year.

Needless to say Nanny's Home Orifice is "considering" calls for tougher rules on alcohol.

Ryanair is also urging airports to ban the sale of alcohol before 10am, and to limit the number of drinks per boarding pass to a maximum of two.

Here are a few thoughts:

1 To put the number of arrests (387) into context, annual passenger numbers published by the Civil Aviation Authority show that in total 251.6 million passengers used a UK airport in 2015.

2 Many of the budget airline destinations are to "all you can drink" resorts, as such what sort of passenger do the budget airlines think they will get if they cater to "all you can drink" holiday makers?

3 I and many others can drink like a fish on a plane, but manage not to assault anyone or ending up being arrested. The issue is down to the nature of the cretins who end up brawling.

4 Banning booze before 10am sounds very "modest", yet airports are international and people are travelling in their own timezones where 10:00GMT may in fact be 18:00 according to their body clocks.

5 Limiting sales of pre flight booze, and stopping drinking duty free on board, may to a cynic seem to be a way of increasing sales of on board drinks!

6 Flying is hellish enough, without the comfort of booze it would be an even more joyless experience.

7 Shite airlines that charge for everything, but still cram people in to seats designed for midget, get bad tempered customers.

8 How the hell do they think that they can enforce a two drink limit? People will get their friends to buy the booze, or they will simply get boozed up before arrival at the airport.

All in all this is a coordinated piece of bollocks that will be used by Nanny to impose unenforceable drink restrictions on 251 million people!


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Monday, August 14, 2017

Gender Neutral Shoes Pave The Way To Utopia!


Now that Nanny has sorted that "major injustice" out, she will turn her attention to the less pressing problems of world peace and an end to poverty and hunger!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Red Wine Limits Flu


Hoorah, it seems that drinking red wine can help limit flu symptoms.

The Spectator reports that a compound found in foods such as black tea, red wine and blueberries can prevent severe flu infections in mice, according to new research published in the journal Science.

The research, by the Washington University School of Medicine, also indicates that consuming the plant flavonoids before flu develops will limit its impact.

So there you have it folks, start drinkming red wine now in order to reduce the risk of a severe flu infection in the winter!
 
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Vegan Doctor Who - FFS!



THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!!!!!!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Climate Change Factoid


The Earth's climate has been in a constant state of change since the Earth came into existence some 4 billion years ago.

Get over yourselves humanity, you are not the cause nor the cure of climate change!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, August 07, 2017

Nanny's £25BN Sin Taxes


Nanny hates the fact that we drink, smoke and eat sugar, but is nonetheless delighted to make money of of our "sins".

In fact Nanny is raking it in. According to an estimate by the Institute of Economic Affairs, in a  report entitled "‘Smoking and the Public Purse", Nanny is set to screw us to the tune of £25BN next year.

With the forthcoming sugar levy expected to raise £500 million per year, the government’s revenues from sin taxes will now total £24.7 billion by 2018. Contrary to popular belief, the three most censured ‘lifestyle factors’ – alcohol, smoking and obesity – do not cost the taxpayer money. The punitive taxes levied on them more than cover the costs they impose on public finances, providing a net saving to the government of £22.8 billion.

Costs and savings from smoking
  • The government spends £3.6 billion treating smoking-related diseases on the NHS and up to £1 billion collecting cigarette butts and extinguishing smoking-related house fires.

  • The government saves £9.8 billion annually in pension, healthcare and other benefit payments due to premature mortality.

  • The government brings in £9.5 billion annually in duty paid on tobacco.
This means that smoking produces a net saving to the government of £14.7 billion a year, at current rates of consumption.

Costs and savings from drinking
  • The gross cost to public services, including healthcare for drinking related diseases and expenditure on public order, is £4.6 billion.

  • The government brings in £10.7 billion annually in duty paid on alcohol.

  • Net benefit: £6.1 billion
Only obesity incurs a net cost to the taxpayer of £2.5 billion a year. Once the sugar levy is introduced this will decrease to £2 billion.

As the IEA notes:
"It may be easy to point the finger of blame at smokers, drinkers and the obese for rising NHS costs, but this no longer stands up to scrutiny given the findings of this report and the levels of taxation now levied on ‘sin’. And by scapegoating these people, campaigners and policymakers risk ignoring the real problem that our healthcare system faces: an ageing population."
There you have it folks, the real "enemy" of the NHS is not boozers/smokers/obese but the elderly!

This of course presents Nanny with a problem, for if we follow her puritanical lifestyle recommendations we will live to a ripe old, dementia ridden, frail age and bankrupt the NHS.

Would it not be more cost effective for Nanny to tell us to drink, smoke and eat ourselves to a youngish death?


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Friday, August 04, 2017

Booze Boosts The Brain


My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an amusing article about booze.

Seemingly a 30-year study by the University of California, San Diego has concluded that over-65s who indulge in up to three alcoholic drinks a day can look forward to a happy and healthy retirement.

In fact, they said, moderate to heavy drinkers are more likely to live to the age of 85 without dementia or other cognitive impairments than non-drinkers. 

Lead author Dr Linda McEvoy is quoted by the Mail:
"This study is unique because we considered men and women's cognitive health at late age and found that alcohol consumption is not only associated with reduced mortality, but with greater chances of remaining cognitively healthy into older age."
The researchers found that people who drank 'moderate to heavy' amounts of alcohol five to seven days a week were doubly likely to be cognitively healthy than non-drinkers.

Cheers!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries