Prats of The Week - The EC

Ooh the start of a new week, heralded by grey gloomy overcast skies.

What better way to lift our spirits than to award a Prats of The Week Award?

This week it goes to the ever "popular" and "respected" EC.

In their infinite "wisdom" the Gnomes of Brussels have turned their attention to that most pressing of problems, olive oil served in restaurants.

Normal people, such as ourselves, are quite capable of remonstrating with a waiter if the olive oil presented for dipping or pouring turns out to be petrol or some such derivative. However, in the minds of the Gnomes from Brussels such assertive customer action is not good enough.

The Gnomes have decreed that traditional olive oil jugs will be banned from restaurants across Europe as from 2014. Instead restaurants will be forced to use non refillable, pre-packaged factory bottles with tamperproof lids.

No more dipping, no more artisan specially produced olive oil; instead we will be forced to imbibe factory produced muck (doubtless the factory produced olive oil will be the same "high quality" type of shite that is used in processed foods!).

The fact that the EC chooses to focus on olive oil, rather than the more pressing issues of (eg) youth unemployment in Greece being at 64% or the fact that processed meat products contain all manner of shite, says a lot about the unelected Gnomes that rule our lives.

The EC, well deserving Prats of the Week!

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Prats of The Week - Radstock Town Council

Goodness me it has been yonks since I have awarded my prestigious, and internationally renowned, Prats of The Week Award.

Therefore, without further ado, I hereby award it to Radstock Town council.

For why?

Well the "learned" town councillors have decreed that the flag of St George will no  longer be flown over Radstock, because it is "inappropriate".

The discussion and decision arose as a result of debate over the repairs to the civic flagpole to ensure a Union Jack could be flown on Armistice Day.

Why is the flag "inappropriate"?

It seems that the councillors are fretting over the Crusades (that took place 700 years ago), and worry that Muslims will be offended by the flag.

Labour councillor Eleanor Jackson claims that its use during the Crusades of the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries could mean the English national flag could be seen by some as offensive.

She is quoted by This Is Somerset:

"My big problem is that it is offensive to some Muslims but even more so that it has been hijacked by the far right. My thoughts are we ought to drop it for 20 years."

She suggested the Union flag was a more inclusive and suitable way of displaying national pride.

The council will also be flying the In Bloom flag at the Miners' Memorial Garden to celebrate the town's achievements in the gardening competition and the rainbow flag, the symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender pride movement, at "appropriate" times of the year.

There are also plans for a flag to be designed specially for Radstock.

What a load of bollocks!

By that token, the Union flag could be seen as being offensive to the French, Germans, Italians, Austrians and Japanese who we have all had bust ups with over the last two hundred years ever since the Union flag came into being!

I would also note that we were invaded by the Romans 2,000 years ago. Does this mean I should boycott my local Italian because the sight of the Italian flag reminds me of the "horrors" of Roman occupation (all those aqueducts, roads and bath houses - don't get me started!).

Quite rightly Nasima Begum, a spokeswoman for the Muslim Council of Britain, said it encouraged the flying of the St George's flag.

"St George needs to take his rightful place as a national symbol of inclusivity rather than a symbol of hatred. St George actually lived before the birth of Islam and should not be associated with any hatred of Muslims."

Well said!

Radstock Town council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Nanny Bans The Dambusters

Today is the 70th anniversary of the Dambusters' raid on the Mohne, Eder and Sorpe dams that were vital to the Nazi military industrial complex.

Seventy years ago 617 Squadron left RAF Scampton on its mission to destroy the dams.

To mark the anniversary there will be a sunset ceremony at Scampton attended by members of Guy Gibson’s (the squadron leader who led the raid) family, along with two veterans of the raid and the daughter of Barnes Wallis who invented the bouncing bombs that were used in the raid.

As well as events at Scampton, there will be various fly-pasts by the RAF’s Battle of Britain Memorial Flight and Friday’s international service at Lincoln Cathedral. Today the last operational Lancaster will fly down the Derwent Valley and strafe the Derwent Dam (which was used by the squadron as a practice target in their training for the raid).

Unfortunately many people who would like to watch this will be unable to.

For why?

Health and safety!

Severn Trent Water, which owns the dam, and other public sector ‘stakeholders’ have decreed that heavy traffic on country lanes would pose an unacceptable threat to the emergency services. So there can be no official event at the Derwent Dam.

The Mail quotes  Mary Stopes-Roe, daughter of Barnes Wallis:

"It’s absolutely ridiculous. Do they think we’re all going to fall into the water?"

Where would we be now, if this absurd attitude to health and safety been prevalent during the war?

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Nappy Matters

I see that some brand of nappies currently being advertised on TV now claims to have a "wet/dry" indicator.

It's purpose?

To "teach" the child the difference between wet and dry!

FFS!

If the child is so dimwitted as to not to be able to tell the difference in physical sensation between wet and dry, how the fark will he/she be able to grasp the meaning of a "wet/dry" indicator?

It is no wonder that we are breeding a nation of slack jawed dimwits.

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Horsing Around

My thanks to a loyal reader who recently pointed me in the direction of a daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning horses, Hi-Vis jackets worn by the horse rider and the words "POLITE" of "PLEASE" emblazoned across the Hi-Vis apparel.

Concerned about the number of accidents on the roads involving horses and cars etc, the British Horse Society has encouraged people to wear Hi-Vis jackets with the words "POLITE" or "PLEASE" to encourage drivers to give them some consideration etc.

Unfortunately some of the designs worn also includes a reflective blue and silver border.

Step forward the Association of Chief Police Officers, which has written to the British Horse Society warning them that the design too closely resembles the design of clothing worn by mounted policemen.

Assistant chief constable Ron Hanson, the association’s head of mounted policing, is quoted by the Mail:

"Anyone possessing these products is at risk of breaking the law, namely section 90 of the Police Act 1996.

Over recent months a number of examples of high visibility equine apparel have been brought to my attention. 

These articles have caused concern to the police on the grounds individuals wearing them are likely to be mistaken for a police officer."

I can see his point. However, unless the non police riders deliberately attempt to pass themselves off as police officers, is this not a case of an over reaction?

On the other hand, the wording and chequered borders seem somewhat unnecessary; how hard is it not to see a horse and rider in Hi-Vis?

I suspect that where accidents occur, this is either down to lousy driving or lousy horsemanship. The addition of the words "PLEASE" or "POLITE" will not make the slightest difference to such lousy driving/horsemanship.

There is of course a greater irony here, the original design was approved of by Met police commander Bob Broadhurst, the ACPO spokesman on mounted policing (my thanks to a loyal reader for pointing this out).

He is quoted by the Evening Standard as saying that the law would not be breached “provided there is no deliberate attempt to impersonate police” and added that even if the public were mistaken, the sight of people in high-visibility clothing would offer “reassurance”.

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Not Nice Fag Tests

As loyal readers know, Nanny hates fags and wants us all to stop smoking.

Oddly though, she is perfectly happy to make a nice little earner out of taxing fags.

Anyhoo, Nanny's latest anti fag campaign is being spearheaded by our old chums from Nice (the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence). Nice want all expectant mothers to take breath tests, not for booze (yet) but for fags.

Errmmm..unless I have missed something, smoking has not yet been declared to be illegal in this country has it?

In the event that an expectant mother agrees or (more accurately) is bullied into taking the test, and she has been found to be smoking, what will Nanny do next?

Answer: bully the woman into quiting!

Given that the tests doubtless cost money, and that the offered "cure" for smoking also costs money, a cynic might wonder if Nanny and her minions had any financial interests in the companies that offer the test kits and/or "cures" for smoking.

Views on that cynical thought anyone?

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Oops!

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Nanny Bans Hopscotch

I wonder sometimes whether the "powers that be" in this country have had some form of collective mental breakdown. That at least is the only conclusion that I can draw from the story that has appeared all over the media about Lily-May Allen's encounter with Ramsgate Police.

Lily-May is 10, and drew a chalk hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her house.

This is a perfectly normal activity for a child, and one which is indulged in throughout the country.

Unfortunately, for reasons that are completely unclear, some officers from Kent police allegedly informed her that it was criminal damage.

Bob Allen, her father, is quoted by the BBC:

"I'm so infuriated that they didn't come and knock on the door and ask to see me or her mum. 

They've just gone and said something to her and then just driven off."

It is entirely possible that this was some kind of joke that the officers may have been trying to have that went slightly wrong, as Lily-May didn't see the funny side. As a police spokesman said:

"From the circumstances described, it would not appear to have been necessary to advise the young girl that chalking a hopscotch grid may be criminal damage and illegal."

This all seems very odd to me!

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